The opening
number
Long before the Superdome,
Where the Saints of football play,
There's a city where the damned call home,
Hear their hellish rondelet:
New Orleans!
Home of pirates, drunks, and whores...
New Orleans!
Tacky, overpriced souvenir stores...
If you want to go to hell, you should take a trip
To the Sodom and Gomorrah of the Mississip':
New Orleans!
Stinking, rotten, vomiting, vile...
New Orleans!
Putrid, brackish, maggotty, foul...
New Orleans!
Crummy, lousy, rancid and rank...
New Orleans!
...
From rehearsal(not
sung during play shown):
Blanche/Stanley
number
Stanley: You're a dame and I'm a fella...
Blanche: Stop it, Stanley or I'll tell Stella...
Stanley: All I want is one embrace...
Blanche: I'll twist this bottle in your face!
Blanche's introduction
I thought my life, would be a Mardi Gras...
A never-ending party... (pause) Ha!
I'm a faded Southern dame without a dime...
Steve (Apu) and Blanche
Steve: [spoken] I'm collecting for the Evening Star.
Blanche: [sexily] Come here... I want to kiss you, just once.
Softly, and sweetly... on your mouth...
Steve: [sings]
I am just a simple paperboy, no romance do I seek.
I just wanted forty cents, for my deliveries last week.
Will this bewitching floozy
Seduce this humble newsie?
Oh, what's a paperboy to... doooooo?
Blanche: [kisses Steve]
Steve: Woo-hoo!
Stanley's torment
Stella! STELLLAAAA! Can't you hear me YELLA!
You're puttin' me through HELLA! Stella... STELLLAAAA!
The closing number
Blanche: Whoever you are,
I have always depended on the kindness of strangers...
[begin song]
Chorus:
You can always depend on the kindness of strangers
To pluck up your spirits, and shield you from dangers.
Blanche:
Now here's a tip from Blanche you won't regret.
Chorus:
A stranger's just a friend you haven't met.
You ha-ven't met...
Streetcar!
We'll march till we drop,
The girls and the fellas,
We'll fight till the death,
Or else fold like umbrellas.
So we'll march day and night,
By the big cooling tower,
They have the plant,
See my vest, see my vest,
Made from real gorilla chest,
Feel this sweater, there's no better,
Than authentic Irish setter.
See this hat, twas my cat,
My evening wear - vampire bat,
These white slippers are albino,
African endangered rhino.
Grizzly bear underwear,
Turtle's necks, I've got my share,
Beret of poodle, on my noodle,
It shall rest.
Try my red robin suit,
It comes one breast or two,
See my vest, see my vest,
See my vest.
Like my loafers? Former gophers,
It was that or skin my chauffeurs,
But a greyhound fur tuxedo,
Would be best.
So let's prepare these dogs,
Kill two for matching clogs,
See my vest, see my vest,
Oh please, won't you see my vest.
Oh Shake shake
shake
Shake shake
shake
Shake your booty
Shake your booty
Oh shake shake
shake
very well
your the best
in the world
I can tell
Oh shake shake
shake
shake shake
shake
shake your booty
shake your booty
(music starts)
Belle:
We're the sauce on your steak,
We're
the cheese in your cake,
We
put the spring in Springfield.
Dancing
Girl 1: We're the lace on the nightgown,
Dancing
Girl 2: The point after touchdown,
Belle
and Dancing Girls: Yes we put the spring in Springfield.
Belle:
We're that little extra spice
That
makes existence extra-nice,
A
giddy little thrill
At
a reasonable price.
Lovejoy:
Our only major quarrel's
With
your total lack of morals.
Dancing
Girl 3: Our skimpy costumes ain't so bad,
Dancing
Girl 4: They seem to entertain your dad!
Belle
and Dancing Girls: The gin in your martini,
The
clams on your linguine,
Yes
we keep the
(Belle
flicks Bumblebee Man's(Chespirito)
antenna)
In
Springfield!
Wiggum,
Krusty, and Skinner: We remember our first visit,
Mayor
Quimby: The service was exquisite!
Mrs
Quimby: Why Joseph, I had no idea!
Mayor
Quimby: Come on now, you were working here!
Grampa
and Jasper: Without it we'd have had no fun
Since
March of 1961!
Bart:
To shut it down now would be twisted,
Jimbo,
Dolph, and Kearney: We just heard this place existed!
Dancing
Girls: We're the highlights in your hairdo,
Apu:
The extra arms on Vishnu,
Dancing
Girls: So don't take the
(Barney
opens a Krusty-in-the-box)
Mob:
We won't take the
(Sideshow
Mel blows on his slide-whistle)
Everyone:
Yes let's keep the
(Moe
crashes two garbage can lids together)
In
Springfield!
(Krusty
hits his face with a pie, Willy accidentally hits Lenny in the
head
with a sledgehammer, Wiggum and the Comic Book Guy bounce their
bellies
together, Burns honks the horn on his antique car, Cap'n
MacAllister
reels in a fish, and Barney burps.)
Who controls the British pound?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do!
Who leaves Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do!
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Gutenberg a star?
We do! We do!
Who robs cavefish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We do!
Sunshine, lollipops
and rainbows
That's how this
refrain goes
So come on join
in
Everybody
Sunshine, lollipops
and rainbows
Everything that's
wonderful is sure to come your way
'Cause you're
in love to stay
My life is
Sunshine, lollipops
and rainbows
That's how this
refrain goes
So come on join
in
Everybody
Sunshine, lollipops
and rainbows
Everything that's
wonderful is sure to come your way
'Cause you're
in love,
You're in love
And love is
here to stay!
Wounds won't last long, but an insulting song,
Burns will always carry with him,
So I'll settle my score on the salsa floor,
With this vengeful Latin rhythm.
Burns!
Con un corrazon de perro.
Senor Burns!
El diablo con dinero.
It may not surprise you,
But all of us despise you,
Please die,
And fry,
In Hell,
You rotten,
Rich old wretch,
Adios viejo!
123K200K
You see, whether igloo, hut, or lean-to, or a geodesic dome,
There's no structure I have been to, which I'd rather call my home.
When I first arrived, you were all such jerks,
But now I've come to looooooove your quirks.
Maggie with her eyes so bright,
Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright,
Lisa can philosophize, Bart's adept at spinning lies,
Homer's a delightful fella, sorry 'bout the salmonella.
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Now here comes the tricky part.
Oh, won't you rhyme with me?
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Their floors are stick-E-Mart,
They made Dad sick-E-Mart,
Let's hurl a brick-E-Mart,
The Kwik-E-Mart is real... D'oh!
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Not me...
Forget the Kwik-E-Mart,
Goodbye to Kwik-E-Mart,
Who needs the Kwik-E-mart?
Not me.
