Simpsons Quotes

Obviously this page will be under constant construction as I will be addding new quotes all the time...

Homer Quotes

Homer: Uh, excuse me, Professor Brainiac, but I worked in a nuclear
power plant for ten years, and, uh, I think I know how a proton
accelerator works.

"Maggie, get that moldy old bear out of the way, I'm trying to watch TV ... wait a minute, moldy? old? I'm gonna get something to eat!"

Hibbert: Homer, this is your physician, Dr. Julius Hibbert. Can you tell us what it's like in there?
Homer: Uh...it's like...did anyone see the movie "Tron"?

Bart: I dunno, Dad: don't you have a better picture?
Homer: Relax. A photo can't make any difference.
[A man and a woman review applications, and they come across Homer's]
Man: [looking at the photo] He looks crazy.
Woman: Agreed. Reading his essay would only waste valuable seconds.

Homer: No, don't kill me. I didn't know there was film in that camera
in that hat! I was unaware. I was unaware! [sobs]
Apu: Mr. Simpson, you misunderstand me. In my village this is the
traditional pose of apology.
Homer: Oh.
Apu: You know, now that I think about it, it may be a little
confusing. Many have died needlessly.

Mindy: What's wrong? Homer: Oh, yeah, like you don't know. [weeping] We're gonna have sex!
Mindy: Oh...well, we don't have to.
Homer: [sad] Yes we do! The cookie told me so.
Mindy: Well...desserts aren't always right.
Homer: But they're so sweet!
Homer: Oh Marge, sometimes I think we have the worst family in town.
Marge: Maybe we should move to a bigger town?

Bart Quotes

Bart: Cool, man!